Doctor Jones, thank you very much for accepting me as your client. My friend highly recommended you.
I have been hesitating in choosing the right direction for myself for a long while now. Recently it has become worse. I find myself lost with my choices and stuck in a dead end. When I had some choices, I have some possibilities. Once at a dead end, I lost all possibilities. I felt I couldn’t move forward, my future was blocked. I couldn’t go backward; my past was gone.
I am in the middle of nowhere, there is nothing in front of me and there is nothing behind me. I have no support, no backing, no assistance and no protection.
Life has become meaningless, everything to me is senseless. I have no plan, everything at home seems worthless to me. I have lost my drive; every little thing irritates me.
Sometimes I just want to cry, for no particular reason. I feel exhausted from living with my husband.
My husband and I have been in a miserable situation for a long time. Originally we were planning to see you together. We desperately need professional help. This morning he suddenly changed his mind. He said he didn’t need help, he didn’t see any problems between us. I was the one who needed help. I should see you and get some wisdom from you.
He said we have a good marriage, we don’t need a marriage counsellor to help us. Once I saw you, you would clear my mind and make me realise there’s nothing wrong with our marriage. I was the one who manufactured the whole thing.
That’s right, I told him that too – we should solve our problem together.
I didn’t know he said those things to you when he booked this session. Thank you for telling me that. He always says lots of complementary things about me to other people, like ‘my beautiful wife’ this and ‘my gorgeous wife’ that. At first I really believed that he truly loves me, then I quickly lost my faith.
If he loves me, why does he do what he does?
Before we got married, he told me he was going to pay all the bills. My income was mine; I could spend it however I liked. The truth is, he often asks me to pay the bills first and says he would pay me back later. He never does. When I ask him, he’ll transfer a small amount of money to my account. He says his money is all mine anyway. What a liar!
Once my mother asked me to accompany her to visit a friend of hers she hadn’t seen for a long time. She was a woman who loved to gossip. My mother didn’t want my sister to know, because she wanted to go with her. My mother told her that meeting was cancelled. My mother said she didn’t want that woman to meet my sister. My mother had her reasons, that’s not important.
I had to let my husband know that I was going with my mother to meet with that lady. We were going to be gone for a long time. I asked him not to mention it to my sister. He did. There was no reason for him to do that, but he did! My mother and my sister have not spoken to each other since. His promise meant nothing. Why did he do that?
He knows I like good quality clothes. Why does he buy t-shirts and jeans to surprise me? He knows I don’t like them and never wear them. The ironic part is he never wears t-shirts and jeans either. Why does he buy them for me?
He knows I don’t like one of his friends but he always invites him over to our place when I am home. Why can’t he go out somewhere with him instead? Why does he always have to drag me into it?
We both work. I like the house to be clean so I wanted a cleaner to clean our house once a week. He disagreed. He said he would do the vacuuming and clean the bathroom and toilet once a week and I could do the cooking and clean the kitchen every day.
I do the cooking and clean the kitchen everyday but he won’t do his end of the bargain. I can’t live in a pig sty. Why did he lie and say he would do it?
When we do our grocery shopping, I try to buy food that is good for us and in season. Sometimes that means paying more than we would like so he’ll stop me buying it or try to cut down how many I buy. Once the oranges were expensive, I picked 6, he threw 3 back. After we got home, he ate 2 of them in one go. Can you explain that to me?
Once he went to a business conference. Three days later he came back with a business partner. He couldn’t keep his hands off that lady the whole time. And that was in front of me, who knows what they did behind my back? Can’t he hide his infidelity? Why does he have to show that to me? Disgusting!
Men want women like a cat wants fish. When a cat steals a fish, it knows to take it somewhere to hide it before eating it.
If he wants to play around, why can’t he do it in a discreet manner? Why does he have to behave in such despicable way?
I told him that, if he wants to have affairs, go and find a woman better than me in every way, otherwise it’s an insult to me.
I don’t know how many times we have had a face-to-face talk about these subjects. He doesn’t think anything is wrong with his behaviour.
Every time he behaves badly, I talk to him as soon as I have the chance. If I wait awhile, he will deny everything. ‘No, it never happened.’ He’s like a very young child, he can’t remember anything that happened twenty minutes ago.
Once when we were having afternoon tea with a group of friends, we sat opposite each other and on his right was a lady called Emma, who I had met a couple of times.
We were in the café for two hours. His left arm was resting on the back of Emma’s chair most of that time. If his hand wasn’t stroking Emma’s back, it was resting on her shoulder. Many times Emma turned her face toward him, their faces almost touching. They looked into each other’s eyes like a couple in love.
After we left those people, we had the following conversation:
I asked him “Did you sleep with Emma?”
“I told you last time, I have not. Why are you asking again?”
“Your hand was touching her so intimately. The way you two interact makes you seem more like lovers than friends.”
He laughed. “I’ve known her much longer than I’ve known you!”
“You compare her to me. Does that mean you still want her?”
“She has a boyfriend.”
“I didn’t ask you if she has a boyfriend, I asked you are you after her?”
“I was never after her.”
“Was she after you? You two met at a singles’ club. Everybody who goes to a singles’ club is looking for a partner.”
“I repeat; she’s got a boyfriend.”
“You are married but that doesn’t stop you touching her in public. A boyfriend wouldn’t stop her from telling you off.”
“Ever since I married you, I don’t want other women anymore. Look at her, she’s rough and ready, has no style, she can’t even manage to do her hair. Give me some credit would you?”
To be honest, I don’t think there was anything between him and Emma. Come on, I think his standards are a bit low standard sometimes but I don’t think he would be interested in Emma. He doesn’t even like her.
I’ve thought about leaving him and starting all over again. I really don’t want to spend the rest of my life with a man who’s full of lies, who doesn’t understand what honour is, who has no grace.
I would like to marry an honourable man instead of watching a man behave like a dog, his tongue out and huffing every time he sees a female walk pass.
Do I love him? I thought I did, but after living with his lies for so long, I can’t remember the feeling of love. I could never love someone who lies constantly. I would never love someone who’s a liar. No person with self-respect would lie all the time. I couldn’t love anyone who has no self-respect.
Why did I marry him? Well, I believed it when he said he loved me, that he would treat me right, that he would look after me.
I just realised that he hasn’t done any of things that he promised before we got married.
My wife is caught in traffic; she shouldn’t be too long. Lucky for me I have the chance to talk to you without her being present.
The only reason I am here is to stop my wife leaving me.
She said if we come and see you together, you may help us to solve our problems and she would give our marriage another go. I would do and say anything as long as it could save my marriage.
You are a man; you can see how beautiful she is. Her eyes are more expressive than most women’s mouths. Don’t you think she’s one in a million? Her elegance is genuine; her glamour was God’s gift. I fell in love with her when I first laid my eyes on her. It took all my brains and energy to get her to marry me. My family think she’s too good for me, I know! That’s why it’s so important for me to be here.
You know, she’s a good cook. Her roast chicken is so moist, her potato wedges crisp on the outside and soft and creamy inside. I love her cooking far better than a restaurant’s.
If you talk about history, she could tell you lots of historical stories that you’ve never heard before. If you talk about the universe, she knows the planets and stars better than you. If you talk about economics, she would explain to you why banks have to raise interest rates.
I used to be a playboy. I had two or three girlfriends at the same time. After I met her, everything changed. She’s the kind of woman who could satisfy a man. After we married, I kept reminding myself how lucky I am. I want to treat her right, I want her to stay with me, I want her to be happy.
She loves chocolate so I often buy the best chocolate on the market and bring it home for her. Every time when I travel for business, I never forget to buy something she likes. All I want is to make her happy.
We have a great marriage!
Emma? You would laugh if you saw her. Let’s see, her skin is dull and rough, she has a stocky build, big lumps of fat around her tummy. My wife on other hand has smooth fair skin, slim and long legs. Walla, I love her flat tummy.
It isn’t that I don’t know how good my wife is. I would never marry a woman like Emma, that’s for sure.
Look at it this way, eye fillet is the best steak, right? After having it day after day, it becomes boooring. If every now and then you have some junk food for a change, it wouldn’t be a bad idea…